Below are the 7 most recent journal entries recorded in potatosoup's LiveJournal:

Monday, November 15th, 2004
9:45 am	i have lots of work. but ahm, feeling a bit lazy. getting stoned a little too much. ok, later. Current Mood: calm (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, November 12th, 2004
9:18 am	sleeping is a luxury some thoughts (some thoughts suck): when a person survives a suicide attempt, then everyone refers to the suicide as that person's accident. but do they realize what that means? a suicide is no accident. it's planned, meticulously. it becomes an accident, however, when the person lives. if the person planned to die and then lived, their life from then on is an accident. so, this, among other such shitty yet profound thoughts, was circling my brain last night as i tried to go to sleep. i could be so fucking exhausted but as soon as i get into bed and try to go to sleep, i become this think tank. that's great and all, but i just want to get lost in my sleep. i feel, in the daytime, like a sleepwalker, but then at night i can't sleep. i need to change my schedule or something. fucking helps, after that i get to sleep real nice. also see: jerking off. also see: being drunk. Current Mood: amused (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 10th, 2004
8:43 am	i sold my soul to starbucks i had fun with my ali last night. we ate and then we ate more. we had a this big discussion at rite aid(s). hahaa. ali is my imaginary friend, i am more sure of it every day. well, i got some new face stuff and i put it on and it hurts. i wouldn't be so sad if the fucking thing just fell off. it's been so problematic lately. puberty is a bitch, well, at least i think my boobs are getting big. i went to the doctor and got tested for everything there is. the hiv, the syph, the bubonic plague... everything. i hope i'm clean, then i can finaly sell myself on ebay. so last night i didn't want to go to my house because of this mice situation. i am still terrified. there are some traps set up by the landlord. glue traps. i don't like the idea of those. could the mice just kindly leave my dwelling? i don't want to kill them. C said, that glue traps suck, that the mice get glued in them and then they chew their leg off and run around with 1 leg. that is so fucking gross. i bet that's a lie. A. said that they can get up into your anus while you're sleeping. fucking jerks, i'll believe anything, so stop freaking me out. back in russia, we don't have mice...we have bears. and you are in trouble if a bear crawls up your asshole... i think M is coming tonight to hang out. it should be awesome since i haven't seen him in forever. C asked me if i still want to go to the movie with him and i said prob not because M will want to go to a show. so i think he got mad at me. seriously, he was doing so good before, sucks. also, last night, after i got him from his work we got to my house and he said that S is leaving tommorrow so i said, phew, finally...and he got mad at me. really, what the hell... gotta go and eat some sweet antibiotics....yum. oh, i'm in the market for a new pussy. a cat, i mean. i want to purchase a cat. for the mice and stuff. Current Mood: crappy (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 3rd, 2004
3:42 pm	whateverwhateverwhatever day 1. post election. whatever. i did my part. just like the large spider-like communist world i used to be a part of, i am now in this corporation owned bucket of shit. it's all the same. if i can find enough american magnet flags to turn upside down, i'll be happy for now. incidentaly, i wonder how long it would take for these large pieces of magnet and plastic to turn into dust? hm, i wonder if it's better then styrofoam...i'm sure i can't spell. but hey, a country that doesn't spell based on the phonetics can't really make sense in anything else. ok, so my stomach hurts. too much work. too much starchy food. gross. what i need to do today. go home after work, change, take a crap perhaps, go to my other work, go hang with ali while we hang her art...and ourselves too. that's what i feel like doing anyway. later. Current Mood: pooooooop (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 26th, 2004
9:48 am	poop i feel better today. i cleaned my house last night. i cut my finger real bad on the knuckle and it wouldn't stop bleeding. every time i bend it blood shoots out, like zombie style. after i was bleeding for an hour i thought that this might actualy turn into a suicide. then i put some wet tp on it and it stopped. i was ready for bed then i talked to C and he really wanted to get his laundry from my house but i didn't want to go over there. he just kept talking about how he has no sheets and no towels so i said i would bring him the laundry. that is all i was going to do. then he thought i was gonna hang out with him but i just gave him his laundry and left. and i told him that it can't keep being like that and that if i want to not see him, i should be able to tell him that and not feel bad. he was still saying stuff but i drove off. there, i'm a bitch. i told him that i'm no good and that he shouldn't like me. then he called me when i got home...damn, i must have him enchanted under the spell of my girl juice or something. ew. so i hope i can come through with a sweet halloween costume. if i don't get the necessary nurse components i will go as hitler. either one will be fine. Current Mood: blah (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, October 22nd, 2004
3:15 pm	joke how many ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? i don't know....wanna ride bikes? bikes!!! hey... Current Mood: amused (Comment on this)
8:49 am	firey pit of hell there is a fiery pit of hell inside my belly. i swear i think i have an ulcer. i would not be surprised with all this stress that i can't seem to handle. these days it's very hard not to just become an alcoholic. drink my troubles away. not so much troubles as insecurities and anxieties. last night i was a total loser. i was all excited to go out with A but then i ate a veggie burger and fell asleep on my bed waiting for A to call me. i didn't even notice how i had fallen asleep, i think i picked up the phone when it rang still sleeping and was all grouchy to my booboo. because i was asleep and that's how i get. also see: fiery pit of hell in my stomach. but let me go back a little to earlier. C had my house keys, had to go get him. told him i will not be seeing him this evening. he was not upset or anything which was good. he said he doesn't want to burn out. good point. so then i called L to see what she was doing since i hadn't talked to her in a while, she asked me if i was going to the VCR show. so then i was all about that and A agreed to go and pay for me and all which is very nice. i also called the other A and T and so everyone was going. yeay, i was gonna go home and shower and stuff and then i was ready to party. then i talked to C and he said he might be going to the VCR show, but not to see them, for some other band that he likes. i didn't say anything and he asked me if i was going so i was like well, yeah. so then we ended the conversation...like 5 minutes later, he calls me again, and says, i don't have to go to the show if you don't want to see me. jeez...i was like, dude, it's a free fucking country. anyway, that was lame but i wasn't going to let that put me down. i really don't mind seeing C every day but i think it's just not right, not healthy. i don't mind if he is just in the company of my friends. that would be better. or vice versa. just more people around. then i had the nap happen. and then i just didn't want to go anywhere since the fiery pit of hell also made me have a migraine and i thought i had a fever because i couldn't stop shaking. my phone was blowing up too. i'm sure i let a lot of people down. A mainly, because we were really looking forward to it. but it's ok, right? i was sick. i feel better now, rest is crucial. tonight pink cans for me and A. we will have good times. man, once i start writing, it gets so long.... but real quick, to sum it up: 1. i'm not neglecting anyone. 2. C is not my bf. but a new friend. 3. i have no room for a bf, this is not because i don't want C. 4. work is a stress pit, but i feel good working. 5. i want the weekend to come so i can get wasted, i hope someone will come through with the goodies. Current Mood: frustrated (Comment on this)